Post by jakeplatt on Feb 27, 2008 23:14:33 GMT
Unwanted Alements
Jake sat in the farmhouse kitchen, sipping a mug of ale, and in an even deeper state of brooding that he usually was. There were two reasons why he had come to be there, the first concerning the drink he had clasped between his hands. There was a huge keg of it sat on the kitchen table, and he had being eyeing it with contempt all day; he hadn’t bought it - in fact, he felt quite affronted by its presence in his house. It had arrived earlier that day, closely followed by a nervous looking Albert Weaver.
It was common knowledge that Albert was a terrible drinker - you could find him ‘most every day down the local tavern, usually being yelled at by his less than tolerant wife. That morning, his already mottled face had been flushed and his wispy blonde hair was sticking to his forehead in places.
“Ah, Jake my boy” He’d said as he pushed his way though the front door after the ale, looking guiltily over his shoulder. “I was wondering if you could help me with a little dilemma I have”
He looked pleadingly at the dark haired by who still stood, slightly stunned, holding the door open. Jake had arrived just in time to open the door as Albert had stopped his frantic knocking and made to barge in.
“What is it, Albert?” He asked after a moment‘s thought, sighing and rolling his eyes. He knew he was going to regret that - sometimes he hated his good nature.
“Well, you see,” The man started, nervously wetting his lips as he put the keg on the floor “The thing is - I seem to have, ah, found myself in possession of an awful lot of ale.” He looked at Jake as if for reassurance. Jake kept his face impassive, though he folded his arms across his chest, half to protect himself, half out of exasperation. Of all the stupid things Albert had done - and there had been a fair few - this was by fair the stupidest to date.
“What happened?” It was hardly even a question - in spite of himself, Jake had found the exasperation creeping into his voice.
“Ah, now, that’s a funny story” Albert said, wringing his hands distractedly “There was this fellow in Locksley - merchant type, you know the sort - very wily, good with words - Anyway, it was such a good offer - how could I refuse?”
The man looked sorrowfully at the keg of ale he’d plonked down. Jake kept his arms folded and drummed his fingers on his forearm, but before he could open his mouth to asked what he was expected to do, Albert cut him short, picking up the keg and moving into the kitchen.
“Anyway, I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind me keeping it here-” Albert kept his back to Jake, as if that would make his requests easier to swallow. “Just for now, you understand, whilst I, ah, broach the subject with the wife.”
Jake felt sorry for poor Mary Weaver - she was a thin, pinched woman, as much because of her husbands inability to spend money on anything non-alcoholic than the intentions of mother nature. He couldn’t imagine what had possessed her to marry Albert Weaver the drunk in the first place - time were hard, and people couldn’t always do what they wanted, but Jake was a romantic. He could understand doing things for love; going without food so your family could eat, offering to do their share of the work when they were too tired, or ill, or old to do it themselves, then abandoning that work to look after them. But doing things that should be done with love without it? That he couldn’t comprehend. He didn’t think he could cope with being married to a woman he didn’t love - not that he had a woman he loved to consider being married to. In fact, Jake didn’t really have much luck with that sort of thing, or any sort of thing in the social department, for that matter. The last time he’d attempted to speak to a girl he’d ended up knocking her to the ground twice in the space of about 10 minutes. He struggled to think of anyone he really did get on with, apart from Emma. Thinking of it, Luke was one of the few people outside his family - possibly the only person - he’d felt able to talk to as soon as they’d met.
He’d been prevented from thinking any more about Luke, though, by a loud thunk as Albert deposited the keg on his kitchen table.
“Right, well, better be off” Albert garbled, turning to face him at last but still not meeting his eyes “Thank you, m’boy, I won’t forget this” He grabbed Jakes hand in both of his and shook it weekly before hurrying out, and the keg had been there ever since. It was only after the second eventful occurrence of the day that Jake had decided he deserved payment for looking after the it in the form of a mug-full of ale.
Sat at the kitchen table, Jakes thoughts wandered back to Luke - the cause of the need for payment. Jake was fairly sure people you employed to help you weren’t supposed to drive you to drink, but here he was, getting drunker and drunker by the minute.
It had happened a while after Albert had left, but Jake had still been feeling annoyed. On reflection, he should probably have been more understanding, and that reflection was half of what had lead him to the ale.
Jake had been stood in the doorway of the farmhouse, leaning his shoulder against the frame as he waited for Luke to arrive. Even though he still felt riled up from the events of the morning, he couldn’t help but smile as the younger boy rounded the corner - he always looked so eager and nervous at the same time. Jake couldn’t remember a time when farm-work had ever excited him that much; for him it was just a way of staying alive, keeping him and Emma in pocket until- well, until he could do what he really wanted. He refrained from putting his hand in his pocket to feel the scrap of paper he knew to be in there and set off towards Luke, who’d already made to start collecting the eggs from the chicken coop on the far side of the courtyard.
“Hey, Luke!” he called out as he trotted over to meet him, keeping the smile on his face in greeting “Stop that.”
The younger boy looked at him as if he had be caught trying to blow up the houses of parliament 600 years before the thought had even crossed the mind of Guy Fawks.
“Oh, no, it’s nothing bad!” Jake continued hurriedly when he saw Luke’s expression. He blushed lightly, feeling guilty for startling his farmhand “Emma got the eggs earlier, I need you to help me with the cows”
If it was possible, Jake’s face dropped even more when he said that.
“W-what?” He stammered.
“The cows” Jake repeated, beginning to lose his patience. “I’ve had difficult milking them lately”
Normally he would never of dreamed of using such an annoyed tone with Luke, or anyone he didn’t know that well, but the run-in with Albert earlier that day had left him rattled. Plus, over the few weeks Luke had been working there, they’d grown closer. Jake had never really been close to anyone he wasn’t related to, having Luke was somewhat of a novelty. Not that that gave him any right to get annoyed with him so easily, but then, Jake had never been socially adept.
“Cows?” Luke sounded almost as terrified as he looked. Jake hand to prevent himself smacking his own forehead.
“Yes, Luke, cows” He said, barely concealing his irritation this time “And we need to milk them”
“I-I can’t”
“What do you mean you can’t?!” Jake exploded “This is what I play you for!” As soon as he’d said he, he clapped his hand over his mouth, regretting it instantly. He’d been annoyed, but it hadn’t warranted that, especially not at Luke, who wasn’t even the cause of the annoyance. He turned on his heal and ran back to the farm, unable to face up to what he’d said. Even as he sat there, an hour or so later, he was still feeling increasingly guilty, and even more embarrassed. Thinking back, he had no idea what had possessed him to act like that. He may be beginning to get close to Luke, but that meant he should treat him with more kindness, not less.
Jake took another swig of ale and put his face in his hands, his cheeks colouring as the events of earlier played over again in his head. He only looked up which he heard the door creak open and his sisters face appeared, at which point he promptly put his head right back where it had been. As much as he loved her, he was not in the mood for one of Emma’s lectures.
There was a scrape of a chair against the flagstones as she sat down beside him, then-
“Okay, what did you do this time.”
“Go away” He groaned from somewhere behind his fingers
“Ah, it was bad then” Emma said, her tone as chiding as it was understanding. Jake gave another groan in response, this one having no intelligible meaning. He hated how Emma always knew what he was thinking. Even since they were children, she’d been able to read hum like a book. She still was a child, really, but despite being 4 years younger than him, it was her who was the mature and sensible one. Sure, he looked after the farm, but his head was always in the clouds, as his mother used to say. He would rather be sat reading Aristotle or, though he’d never admit it, writing something of his own.
“Well, whatever it was, you better make it up to him. I can’t be dealing with two sulking guys” Emma squeezed his shoulder as she stood up to go. As much as he resented what she was saying as she said it, he’d thank her for it later, once he’d swallowed his pride. When he head the latch click shut he slumped properly onto the table, resting his head against his folded arms and prepared to wallow further into self pity.
Although he wasn’t sure why he’d behaved the way he did earlier, even he recognised that he’d been acting really erratically lately, in general. Usually when he had one of his mood swings, Emma would point it out and he’d deny its existence, but now even he recognised he’d been a little out of sorts. It was since he’d met Luke, really. Emma had laughed at him when he’d come home uncharacteristically chirpy on the day they’d met, and had consoled him when he’d been more than characteristically dejected after the Silver Arrow Competition. He couldn’t really remember what had happened - he’d been drunk then as well - but he knew Luke had been there, and he knew he’d done something awful.
He wasn’t sure what it was about Luke, but for some reason he didn’t want to offend him in any way. Or upset him, or annoy him, or anything like that really. In short, he wanted Luke to like him. Perhaps that was the reason he’d been acting so strangely lately.
He sighed and stretched out his hand to search for his beer. He didn’t even look up when he heard the latch click up and the door swing open for the second time.
“Go away, Emma”
“Um, Jake? It’s me, Luke”
Jake’s head shot up from his arms as he heard the voice that most certainly wasn’t Emma’s. Luke was stood in the doorway, eye’s down cast and one hand still clutching the door, as if for protection. Jake felt guilty at that - Luke obviously felt the need to hide from him. He turned his eyes back to the table, locating his mug and pulling it close to him.
“Sorry” He mumbled, blushing and feeling incredibly embarrassed for mistaking Luke for his sister “I thought you were Emma”
Luke made a small noise as if in agreement, but said nothing. A few awkward moment’s passed as Jake stared into his mug. He wasn’t sure why Luke was there - if anything, it should be the other way round; he should be going to Luke to apologise, he was the one who had overreacted, after all.
“Can I come in?” Luke asked, still standing in the doorway, and still not meeting Jake’s eyes
“Oh!” He replied, feeling even more embarrassed for neglecting to invite him into the kitchen. He really did lose his head when Luke was around “Yeah, of course” He stretched out his free arm to pull out the chair next to him for Luke to sit on, making a slight dogs dinner of it in his drunken state when it caught on a flagstone. He grabbed it with his other hand just in time to stop it toppling
“Perhaps you shouldn’t be drinking that stuff” Luke suggested, a little sheepishly, looking at the ale as he came over to sit down “remember what happened last time”
“Erm, no” Jake mumbled in reply, his cheeks flushing again “No, I don’t really”
“Oh” It was Luke’s turn to look embarrassed then “Erm. Okay then.”
Jake cringed inwardly - had he known about Freud’s psychodynamic theory and ego defences he’d probably have though he’d repressed the memory of that night because it was too painful to deal with. As it was, he was half glad he couldn’t remember, if it was really that bad. Then again, the things his head was conjuring up were pretty embarrassing too.
“Would it be better if I didn’t-?” He asked, unable to finish the sentence. Luke nodded “Oh.”
Another few moments past, even more awkward than the last, if it were possible. Jake turned the mug round in his hand but not drinking from it. After what Luke had said, he felt bad for just starting drinking, let alone the state he was in by then, and he wouldn’t dream of drinking any more. Not when Luke was in the room, at least.
Then they both said exactly the same thing, and at exactly the same time
“I’m-sorry-about-earlier!”
Jakes eyes flicked up from the cool amber liquid he’d been gazing into in order to steel himself for the apology. In spite of the uncomfortable situation, the corners of his mouth turned up, and Luke’s did the same. He felt a chuckle rise in his throat and within moments the two men were laughing so hard they each had tears in their eyes. Jake was the first to recover, sniffing and pulling himself back to an upright position in his chair. He sat, smiling at Luke, and trying to prevent the embarrassing thoughts from creeping back into his brain. There was silence again, but this time it was companionable.
“I milked the cows” Luke said eventually, looking up at Jake and smiling uncertainly.
“What?” If Luke had been incredulous earlier that day, it was nothing compared to how Jake felt now. It was as if he’d been winded. Luke, who was scared of cows, had gone out and milked them all by himself, but- “Why?” He asked his next thought out loud, unable to comprehend.
“Well, you’re right, that’s what you employ me for, I shouldn’t have refused to do it” Luke smiled at him, and Jake felt so grateful to him - he could imagine how hard it had been for Luke to overcome his fear, and the fact that he’d done it for him, for the farm. Jake felt genuinely touched.
“Thank you” He managed, after a while, having to make a conscious effort to keep the tears from his eyes. It was probably because of the ale, but he hadn’t felt so thankful towards anyone for as long as he could remember. He restrained himself from reaching out to hug Luke by changing the subject
“So go on, tell me, what did I do at the Fair?” He wasn’t entirely sure it was the best topic of conversation, but for some reason he felt able to ask. After realising what Luke had done for him, he no longer felt as inhibited as he had before - if Luke could face his fears for Jake, then he damn well would face his, too.
“I’m not sure you wanna-” Luke began hesitantly.
“C’mon, I’m sure all the stuff I’ve been imagining is ten times worse” Well, that was certainly true. Jake cringed as he remembered some of the thinks he’d thought of earlier.
“Alright” Luke relied, and finally made eye contact with Jake, before continuing “You kissed me.”
Jakes eyes widened to the size of dinner-plates when Luke said that. His throat felt painfully tight and his brain seemed to have stopped functioning. He had not been expecting that.
“I- I did what?” He stammered eventually, his voice barely above a whisper
“You kissed me” Luke threw his eyes hurriedly back to the floor upon seeing Jakes reaction. Normally, Jake would have analysed the situation to death - What should he do? What was Luke thinking? Why had he done it in the first place? - but it seemed a combination of the alcohol in his blood and the shock of the news had temporarily stopped him from second guessing himself.
“Can I do it again?”
Luke looked at him with almost the same terror he had when faced with the prospect of milking cows, but there was something different in his eyes this time. It was still fear, but there was something else there, too. For a moment Jake felt mortified, thinking he’d said entirely the wrong thing, then Luke nodded.
Suddenly uncertain, Jake hesitated, but after a few brief seconds he stretched his hand out to touch Luke’s face. He felt a twinge of- something as Luke lent into his touch and closed his eyes. Nervously, and still with some uncertainly, Jake leaned forwards and pressed his lips gently against Luke’s. He could feel the slightly growth of stubble on Luke’s jaw as their skin touched, and his lips were chapped from the work he had been doing. That reminded Jake of what Luke had done for him, despite his fear, and he pressed himself slightly closer, as if in thanks. A soft moan escaped Luke’s lips, causing both men to pull away from one another, looking abashed. As Luke stood up and made for the door, Jake cursed himself for being so forward, and searched his mind for something to say. In his still slightly drink-befuddled state all he could come up with was-
“So will you be helping me milk the cows tomorrow?” He had to cast his eyes to the floor as he said it, unable to face Luke in the light of his cheeky comment, though he had a smile on his lips.
“Yeah, I will” Luke replied, smiling as Jake looked back up at him “I’ll see you tomorrow” and he stepped quickly back over to Jake, kissing him briefly on the lips before heading over to the door again, blushing. “Night!” He added, before leaving and shutting the door behind him.
Jake lent back in his chair, a feeling of contentedness spreading through him and warming him in a way no ale could. He glanced over at the keg that still sat on the other end of the table. He’d have to thank Albert next time he saw him.