Would I Lie To You? ~ Allan A Dale

[Allan A Dale]

(OOC - before I begin - many a tangent, this shall go off on. It's a thought journal as Allan can't write or read~)

Mood - - Slightly scared.

I'm an idiot.

I blame the fact that I'm a bloke and she's a woman, and naturally I'd like to do certain things with as many women as possible, but I think I've gone about it the wrong way.

Sod's law - it doesn't work on one woman, works too well on another. Guess the fall did a bit more damage to me than I'd thought. It's unbalanced my ability to flirt!

How will I pick up fair tavern maidens (and free pints) now?

I feel like I've betrayed Djaq, too. I mean, yeah, I know she doesn't really seem interested anymore (especially after she was all gooey eyed over Will when my ankle needed attention! That kinda smarted a bit), but that's how it goes, ain't it?

... I'm not going to say I love anyone. That involves commitment. I'm not ready for any kind of commitment...

I wonder if Robin knows that, though? I "love" (and that's as close as I'm getting to using that damn word again) the gang and I'd do a lot for them, and I'd probably die for them too, but that don't mean I'm committed to the cause of "Save the King, Save England!". What about saving myself and having my own future, eh? The king has armies - let him use them to kill all his enemies. I'm sticking round because I like the gang, but I'm not ashamed to admit that if something drastic happens I'm going to scarper, and try to take as many of them along with me as I can.

Not that it worked last time, either, but I can hope. Scarborough sounds kinda nice. Or, at least, it sounds a bit better than Nottingham does.

...Why am I staying here again?

[Allan A Dale]

Mood - - Annoyed.

I'm not being funny, but why did I go save Robin and the gang again? I could have had money, power, a beautiful wife, lands of my own...

Oh yeah.

I love them.

Sods.

How's a bloke supposed to function when he has feelings? I never had this problem before coming to Nottingham, y'know. I were perfectly bloody happy to waltz off with someone's money, no matter who they were, without a moment's notice. And I've left people for dead. I'm not proud of it, exactly, but I've done it. Sometimes you can't save everyone in your crew, and if they do come out of it, then great! Welcome back. Otherwise, it's every man for himself.

It's all Robin's fault. For being so bloody noble. And honourable. And it rubs off on you, I'm not joking. I have morals. I ain't had morals for years, then one bloody week with this lot and I'm chock full of them, and that's the only reason I gave up all I coulda had at Guy's side. Because I gotta stick by my family.

I hate family. I really do.